What a year!

   Another years has gone by, I cant believe how fast time goes, it seriously feels like just couple months ago we were thinking what we will do next year in 2018 and look now we are exactly in the same situation. Last night while munchin down the Christmas dinner we were talking over what a wonderful year we had, we traveled more than the previous years, we celebrated my birthday in Rome, went on summer holidays to Spain, and now in November we permanently left UK. Couple of our friends god engaged, some had their first or second kids. Definitely this has been an adventurous year.  And we have already started to plant some things for the next one.

   In these six years since we have been together we  have always celebrated Christmas with either one of our families, last year after holidays we had achat and we thought how nice it would be to celebrate it abroad next year, fast forward a year later and our wish came true. It amazes me how manifestation works, you always get what you wish for, and if  you’re willing to take the risk,and grab those opportunities by the bells , all kinds of magical things can happen. We made a very delicious vegan feast for the two of us, it was fantastic, we even had leftovers for two days, hah. We lit the candles, decorated a bit the livingroom and sat down for a lovely dinner.  It was perfect, when I am with him, it feels like the world stops and its just the two of us, he is everything to me, he makes me a better person.

  Sometimes I feel this weird feeling , like for the past month I have been feeling so happy, but every once in a while this feeling of guilt creeps up, like : “why are you so happy all the time?” , “do you even deserve to be so happy?”.  Its so annoying how we are always trying to sabotage our own happiness, why cant we just simply be happy and not over think things? Are any of you feeling the same? How do you deal with it?

To some it might sound silly ,but every day I do my gratitudes, I say to myself what am I grateful for today, what I wish from life, what do I want to achieve, and I just simply try to boost myself with positive talks and you know what? It really helps, I do feel happier and I let myself enjoy it, otherwise I start to over think tings and then its so easily to slip back in my old thinking patterns. And another great way how to loosen it up and enjoy yourself more is dancing, just put whatever music you like and just dance, don’t think about how you look but just feel your body, feel the rhythm, I have been doing that lately and it seriously feels amazing, now in the mornings I dance around in my underwear and enjoy the happiness it makes me feel and another thing ladies, it will leave you feeling sexy, empowered, strong and beautiful, because you are one! 

   While  watching the fireworks display from our terrace and cheering for the new 2019 I felt so at peace, like everything was in place, I felt no worries or anyting, just pure happiness with were I was and witch who I was!!  I hope wherever you are and no matter what situation you are in, just appreciate it and let it go and welcome the changes! Nothing lasts forever! I wish you all a magical, colourfull, adventurous new year of 2019!! Lots of love, light and peace!

Eve xxx

Two and a half weeks

      It has been nearly two and a half weeks since I am by myself in our new flat. Rob went back to UK to take more driving lessons and to earn a bit more money for us to live here while we figure things out. 

    That day when he was leaving I walked him to the bus stop to the city, we came early to just chill, get  mentally prepared for the trip as some of you know how anxious you can get before traveling , always  thinking if you have everything you need for the trip, are you on time for the bus ect ,ect , so we were there quite some time before. And to be fare just so we could cuddle and say goodbye to each other properly. This for us was going to be a bit of a challenge as in these six years since we are together we have never spent more than couple days away from each other, we are so close that we never really want to spend any time apart. The whole time I we were waiting for that bus I had to be really strong, to hold back any tears, I didn’t want him to go but I knew that he is doing this for us so i told myself get your emotions in line girl, you got this! After some time the bus came we said our goodbyes, had the longest, tightest hugs and kisses and he got on the bus. I stood there outside, nearly breaking down in tears, waving and sending air kisses. The bus went. I started walking home with tears falling down my cheeks, I already missed him so much. I got my earphones out and put on music and walked home in the dark by the beach. First night was quite hard for me, I definitely had separation anxiety, I felt so uneasy at home alone especially as we just lived here together for a bit over a week.  I woke up that night with such a weird feeling that something is not right, I turned around to just see that the space next to me in bed is empty, and all the feelings from previous evening came back, it really was hard, lately we have been so close, even closer that usually, i felt like I have fallen in love all over again, and now it felt like I lost him…after rolling around the bed for some time I drifted back to sleep.  After having some couple hours more sleep I woke up again I got myself together and started to plan my day out.  To not go too much into details of every day I will try to summarise what I was doing most days.  

Some days i was going out to run, do a bit of exercising, having long walks by the beach and to be fair most of all just trying to keep myself busy so I wouldn’t think so much how I miss him. Now that I have more free time, for now, I’ve been picking up video making, of course it’s in an amateur level but I have been really enjoying it.  If you are interested to see what I have created I did add instagram link on my profile. With more time in my hands i’m taking more photos as it used to be one of my biggest passions as a kid.  For the following 2019 I wish I could be able to buy a photo camera so I could make them in better quality and maybe one day make prints and get them in some art gallery, that would be a dream come true!

   Last days coming towards the end of my time being alone I have come to some realisations: first one is that being alone is definitely a necessity, it can be a time when you can just be you, one of my favourite saying is “ dance like nobody is watching” because as humans in todays society we have been forced or brainwashed to fit a certain model which sometimes or most times can be really hard, with all the fitness goals and pressure to be have a ‘good’ job , family and a bought house, can be so stressful, so when we are alone we can just simply let go of all that and be ourselves and

my second realisation was that when being alone it made me connect more with myself, like who am I as a person, what do I like to do, because when you are in a long term relationship you often pick up other halves interests, likes, hobbies, but while I was by myself I had time to reflect on myself, because of moving and not having a job i haven’t developed a routine so to come up with things to do every day was a bit challenging.   Now when im  looking back on that time id like to think that I have grown a bit and have learnt a thing or two about myself.  For those of you who are in along term relationship, I do suggest to take a break from each other from time to time, it really gives a fresh breath of air in the relationship.  Lets be more kind, caring and loving towards each other the last weeks of 2018. and the following year of 2019.  Wishing you warm holidays! Lots of love and light to all of you!

Eve xxx

one of my favourite things about living by the beach is seashells ! i absolutely love them

Fresh start..

This morning was no different than any other one, as always I woke up about 7:00am. The first thing I did was look outside the window, immediately my heart filled with warmth, the view was absolutely amazing, the colours of the sunrise is something out of this world. The soft reds and oranges, with bright yellow is something magical, I laid back down with such a peaceful feeling in my heart.

We have moved again, this time not to a different house but a different country. I always feel so excited and full with joy and curiosity of exploring new places when we move and its so fun to not really know what will happen, because this time we have decided to finally go through and start our own business, be our own boss. I want to be in full control over my life, not to be told always what to do, how to do and when to do. I am such a free spirit that this kind of life is just smothering me and sucking all the joy and life out of me. I rather earn less but be in full control over my life, than have all that money and be always told what to do. Its been now over a month since we live in Spain, we both have never been here over winter time, we always came here for holidays in summer, and from those times we fell in love with this country. It’s just so much more relaxing and much less stressful than anywhere else I’ve lived as a person who feels so much others energies living in England has been challenging people over there are so much more depressed, stressed and anxious and I absorbed all that energy and felt like that myself, but here I don’t feel that, when I pass someone I don’t feel it its quite interesting to me how come it is like that? Because lets face it politics and the over all living conditions aren’t the greatest and best here in comparison to other countries, but for some reason people here are happier. My opinion is that its because of how much sunshine you get here, that warmth is just something else. I am definitely a summer child even though I was born in winter hehe

In this months time we have lived in two different apartments first one was a super tiny tiney room which we rented from this family on airbnb , neither one of the three members of the family spoke English and our Spanish isn’t that great as well, Rob understands more than I do but I am learning now more so I am definitely progressing, we stayed in that room for two weeks because we didn’t want to spend much time indoors we went out every single day from the morning till very evening, as I previously mentioned we love exploring so it was such and joy to do it. Valencia city is fantastic with its architecture and old town, with all those little tiny streets its so beautiful. We both love how artsy Valencia is, everywhere you go you can see graffiti art and I don’t mean like those unflattering tags on walls which look like nothing, but I mean beautiful art pieces, some more abstract than others but all just wonderful to look at.

As vegans , me fully and Rob not so fully, we both love food and hunting down all the best vegan places we can find is always a fun thing for us to do. We already have our favourite places which are “Khambu” its a nice place where you can get super yummy vegan burgers, salads and cakes might not be one of the healthiest options but we all love that vegan fast food no matter what hehe. We have couple places like that here in Valencia but that one is our favourite. There’s still much to explore but one thing at a time.

Unfortunately for us and actually for a big surprise it was raining for like five days in those first two weeks and at times quite heavy, we got soaking wet several times and caught cold, I was the first one and of course as a caring and loving partner I share with everything so I passed my bug to him. We got only better after moving into our second home now for the next four months, in a much much more remote place a bit less than hour away with the bus, which by the way goes only couple times a day, but the flat is absolutely amazing , the view from the balcony is just breath taking, now we live on the twenty fourth floor with this gorgeous view to the sea with nothing in front of us just miles and miles of open water, to the left from us we can see the near by towns and if you look close enough you can see Valencia city port.   I don’t wake up to the noise of the cars or smell of the pollution I wake up to the sound of waves crushing against the ground, it is so empowering and peaceful at the same time. The energy that this place has is something I was longing for. I will admit that it has its challenges to live here, like for example as we don’t have a car we have to walk an hour to the nearest supermarket to get food and part of that walk includes walking by the beach through sand with heavy bags, the house is cold because Spanish homes weren’t made for cold winters, but all those things are so minor, because when you look outside and you feel this peace you forget everything else.

I have so much to tell, but this time I will stop here as I feel otherwise this could take up to over 10 pages, I don’t know if anyone ever have read or reads or will read my blog but if you do, thank you so much for your time and I hope that in any way I maybe made your day better or brighter or I just helped you forget for a bit your troubles. I am here to share my thoughts with the world and to learn to be more open and more vulnerable to the this world and people. Thank you

ps. I added some photos from our latest adventures. Hope you enjoy it.

Eve xxx

 

 

 

Birthday shenanigans

So this week is my birthday week… Couldn’t be more excited as it’s my 25th birthday.. Getting old aye! Hah jk im still young and gorgeous hunty..

im writing this blog post from airplane ✈ im travelling to Italy – Rome to celebrate my birthday and  just to have a super nice and wonderful time with my hubby ❤ only going away for 3 days that’s a shame but still i couldn’t be more excited to just being away from home and seeing another wonderful country and experiencing everything what this city has to offer.. Travelling for me is everything absolutely love it, definitely i could easily do that all the time, minus the flying though.. Because that is no fun

Ofcourse we have already planned to visit coliseum and Vatican city and gorgeous cathedral. Historic buildings and art fascinates me i can just wonder and get lost in art galleries.. After the trip i will definitely write another post and will add some nice pictures so you all can see..

At the moment i feel tired, kinda sleepy but mostly bored as you all know flying is not a fun experience,just sitting uncomfortably, trying to sleep  then waking up and when u think u have slept for like half an hour but oh fck me 10 minutes have passed plus my bum already hurts from sitting..

Have you travelled anywhere exciting recently or are planning something? Hop you are having a great day and see you soon..

Eve xxx

Anxiety is a c**t

In this day and age anxiety is such a common thing.. And it’s crippling my mind and soul, this voice in your head that keeps saying you’re a piece of shit who fails all the time, you don’t deserve anything and you will never achieve anything.. Keep on failing bitch..

And this adult life isn’t a treat as well.. Why do i need to spend most of my life slaving away in some shitty job.. Get paid some pennies which i have to give away for rent and all that crap.. In day’s like theese i see how pointless and shitty life is in reality.. No matter what you see on social media how nice and lovely some people’s lifes looks it still is shit in some way.. No amount of money will give you 100 % happiness, you can pretend and say how your life is so great,but we all know that everyone is struggling with something..

Sometimes i just can’t wait to be old and die so that all these lies and bullshit would be over..

I kinda apologies for this rant but i just feel so depressed and i need to get this out of my system.. So, sorry not sorry..

Eve xxx

01.01.2018

First of January..

Happy flippin new year guys!! What a year i had.. Lot’s of adventures, new experiences, new and lost friends.. Ups and downs.. But overall this past year has been great!! Im grateful for everything what has been trown at me.. I think i have done a great job!! New years eve spent with wonderful friends, laughter, board games, silly jokes and just super positive vibe!!  Im happy how the new year has started..  I hope you all had a wonderful night in every way!! I’ll keep this one short! I hope all your dreams and hopes will come true this year, be brave and never give up!! Kisses and all the best wishes!!

Bring it on 2018!!

Eve xx

Few days

Here i am again with highlights from my life.. Today broadcasting from my bathtub..  I can let you in on one of my personal lifes weekly pampering secrets.. Every sunday in the evening im taking looong loong baths.. Treating myself with amazing bath bom from Lush.. I absolutely love them.. Tonight im soaking in pink glitrer explosion in my bath.. It is amazing to say less..  Past days have been busy ive had mad week at work.. Lots of different emotions and often moodswings.. But the end of the week turned out very great..  On Thursday i had my works Christmas do which was super fun..got all dressed up.  Had a very nice meal,  maybe two too many G&T’s and busted some crazy moves on the dance floor top, it was great.. Saturday my mum came over to pick up her cat which i was babysitting for her whilw she was on holidays,  now house feels a bit emptier,  it was nice to have a kitty around..  And today i have spent eating junk smoking majic herb and watching Gilmore Girls..

Feeling all  worm and fuzzy, because next weekend already Christmas 🎄 going over to my aiat place to celebrate with whole family..  Can’t wait..

What have you all planned to do over this Christmas time?  🌟

Ps. I have added a picture of myself all dressed for that Christmas party 🎉  was feeling sexy and sassy.. Had to share it 💖

Eve xxx

Wild side

As you all may have noticed we’re experiencing last supermoon this year.. How has everyone been affected?  Well first of all i have cought cold which is pissing me off, it has dragged for already two weeks.. Leaving me tired, sleepy and cranky, but at the same time super horny too.. Yeah yeah laugh laugh,  but it it serious..

This supermoon has  given me so much sexuality,  that i don’t know what to do with it.. Weird heh? So last night i had one of the best sex in my adult life, full of passion, strength and dominance.. Absolutely loved it..  Embrace your sexuality and go out fierceful, sexy and with your head held high.. You got it gurl!

Enjoy these supermoon given emotions, energies and make it work in your favour..

Ps. The artwork is not mine found it on google. Not taking any credit

Eve xxx

Chatter in my head

Woke up 5am from a dream and  random chatter in my head, those voices just can’t shut up.. My anxiety just doesn’t want to let go. All i want to do these past days is just crawl in my bed and hide from the outside world.

Weather doesn’t make it easier too. Im a sunshine child, i vibrate higher in sunlight and warm weather so England for me is not the best place to live in. But i have big plans and dreams about my future, so I’ll keep a pin to that..  Do you feel better in sunshine or prefer cooler weather?!

So recently i joined this amazing facebook group “rise sister rise” which is a community of wonderful women who are there for each other they radiate wonderful energy light and love which is so wonderful but i find ot hard to interact and be more open,  because i dont have great relationships with women in general,  always been more in groups of guys,  less drama more fun.. But now i feel like i am a bit alone, i have some female friends but there’s no-one really close to me now. I have a best friend but she lives faaar away from me and it just kills me, i miss her all the time.. I have tried to build  new relationships with girls but i find it hard and i don’t understand why. Im not a big people’s persone but it would be nice to just have someone around who i can call to come over or just go out and have a girls day out..  Maybe im not meant to have this girl tribe maybe i am a lone Wolf wondering through this strange world alone..

Too many what ifs.. With that i will end this post today..

Eve xx

Spiraling thoughts

today I was feeling quite crappy because i have cought a cold, nasty cough and all that.. So I’ve been medicating with the sacret herb 🌿 wink wink..  If you know what i mean.. And it always makes mw forget all the crap and just relax..

Im very into meditating it’s so amazing, like you just relax and connect with the universe, be one with everything and nothing..  Breath in.. And out..  When i meditate i don’t feel lost and confused,  i feel complete,  warm and loved.. It’s a wonderful feeling..  If you don’t meditate then you should definitely try, you won’t regret it.. Light up some candles, turn down the light,  and youtube guided meditation and just listen and relax..

With that i will leave you for now..  Have a magical evening..

Eve xx

Ps. Photo is not mine. Artist unknown